When I planned my trip to visit Matt in New Zealand I thought it would be fun and awesome and looking back so far it was, but it also was hard work and sometimes incredibly frustrating.
We haven't seen each other for around 5 months before I came to visit him and long distance relationships suck, but that's another post coming up sometime soon.
All I can say is that i wasn't prepared at all for what I suddenly had to deal with. There were so many expectations and plans that I had to end up disappointed and frustrated.
There are a few steps to success, which I had to learn the hard way. To be fair I didn't do any research on that before I left. We never fought before and were a dynamic couple, what could go wrong when travelling together, right?! A lot. First of all you are suddenly seeing each other 24/7 which means you get the good and the bad stuff all at once, you don't have any privacy, you talk to the one person only, but you also get to see and experience so many thing together, experience a new culture and spend a lot of quality time.
1. Give space
Even if it is a hard thing to do try to give your parter (and yourself) as much privacy as possible, when possible. It is okay to lay next to each other while doing two completely different things and not talking to each other for hours. If you have the chance to join a group don't be shy, it'll be a great experience and you get to talk to some different faces.
2. Be independent
Just because you are travelling together does not mean you have to be together 24/7. Go out if you wat to. If you have different plans than your significant other you can figure out how to either do both or spend the day separated meeting up in the evening, which makes you actually looking forward seeing each other again (see point 1.).
3. Be honest and talk it out
There is no space for passive aggressive behavior when travelling, no matter what it is, talk about it. Make sure your partner understands what your problem is and find a solution that both of you hare happy with. It can be something simple as the problem that you don't want to do the dishes every time, but your partner just forgets about them, the solution for us is just asking. We ask for everything, which is a good thing because you give the other person a choice. Learn how to communicate your needs and whishes together. It is not easy to do that, it takes time and practise and lots and lots of talking, but when it works you'll live a happy and frustration-free relationship. It is all about finding a compromise that works for the both of you.
4.Trust
Now Trust is a big word and I had some issues with it. Travelling together means that you have to believe in your realtionship. There will be problems and there will be situations where you just want to leave, but there is no where to go because you live in a van with that someone you are mad at. I learned to trust that everything is going to be okay, I learned to believe in our relationship and that we are strong eough to survive a little fight. There is nothing you can not talk about, even if it seems like it at first. Make time for a talk and trust the other one with your feelings and make sure he/she understands what you are trying to say.
5. Make space for Quality Time
You are spending all your time together and you somehow end up just being two people rushig through the day not exchanging one kiss or any kind of attention. Be thoughfull. when doing hikes we enjoy sitting on the summit cuddeling and talking about the most random stuff. You tend to take the other one for granted when being together permanently, do your best to value, appreciate and be good to the other person. We like to "go on dates" which is the two of us doing something we enjoy and we do our best to keep the situation as romantic as possible before going back to the car and slipping back into routines.
And thats it for this blogpost. Make sure to leave all questions in the comments below! Also tell me in the comments what you think about travelling together! It is a make it or brake it situation which you need to work on and make the best out of it if you aske me.
Make sure to follow me on my social media (links are in the top bar, as allways) to find out more about me!
I hope you are all having an amazing weekend,
Love: Kiki
Comments
Post a Comment