At the end of January I was diagnosed with endometriosis. To be honest it was a relief!
I knew there was something wrong with my hormones. After coming off the pill I struggled with painful periods, cysts and mood swings. My doctor told me it was fine, normal, nothing to worry about. In December it became very clear that something was going on, I was bloated to the point that I could not wear pants anymore, I couldn't go to the bathroom properly and took way too many pain killers to get through the day.
Gathering up all of my courage I went to see another doctor. He suggested doing a laparoscopy to see where the cysts came from.
I had no Idea what endometriosis was. Recovering from the surgery was a long and painful progress. When I didn't sleep I did some research and read other peoples' stories.
What scared me the most was infertility and chronic pain. Feeling a bit left a lone with all these worries I went to see a specialist at the endometriosis clinic near by.
When they told me that I was lucky I was diagnosed this early and therefore my fertility is fine and I am not likely to have chronic pains a weight fell off my shoulders. I was not aware of the weight pressing onto my mood and keeping me busy worrying about everything.
Another side I was not aware of were the side effects of my hormonal treatment that is necessary to keep the endometriosis at bay. Besides eating anti-inflammatory food (by eating mainly plant based) hormones make sure that the main part of the endometriosis does not grow any bigger.
The first medication I tried made me incredibly moody. "I am a whimp today" was a daily phrase I used.
The new medication I am taking causes morning sickness, I still feel moody at times but a bit better.
I refer to myself before taking the medication as the "old Kiki" that everyone liked, quirky, happy old me.
The new Kiki seems to be moody, bitchy and do not like myself that way. I think I am the only one seeing this change and judging it so hard. The thing I miss the most is being present, I find it really hard lately to be mindful and to appreciate the little things.
Practicing mindfulness and meditation regularly has helped me to get a little bit of my old self back.
The medication surely has taken it's toll on my body and my goal for he next three months is to be kind to myself and soft and just see what I can do to generally lift my mood.
Thank you all for reading and making it to the end!
Please make sure to leave any questions in the comments.
If you have a chronic disease yourself or have any questions please leave a comment or write me an email.
Lots of love to you all.
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